Flicker and Fail
by xxbabewithbrainsxx
Summary: Katie/Leanne. Three-shot. Katie and Leanne have been best friends since childhood, but Leanne develops intense feelings for her over time. What happens when Katie wakes up after what happened in Hogsmeade and doesn't remember who her girlfriend is?
1. When Will I See You Again?

**Story Notes:**

Thanks, so, so much to my amazing beta, Sarah, for her fantastic and super-quick editing, and for giving me a much-needed kick up the arse :P And thank you to t'other Alex for being just as wonderful and looking over the revised version.

Disclaimer: I'm stating the obvious here - I'm not J K Rowling, though I can make a mean spag bol when I want to XD

I don't think it was ever mentioned who was Head Girl in HBP, so I took a liberty and made that person Leanne. (If it was mentioned, then sorry :S)

The title of the story is directly taken from Laura Marling's _Flicker and Fail_, and there are a few lines, marked with an asterisk (*), that you might recognise, although it's only very loosely based on it, really.

Finally, if you want any background music while reading this, I'd recommend _Don't You Remember_ by Adele, which also inspired this fic along with Flicker and Fail. All the italicised lyrics and the chapter titles are from Don't You Remember - although I am neither Laura Marling nor Adele, and I do not own either song.

Leanne Starr watches Katie Bell anxiously as she awakens. She is waiting for that spark of recognition to flicker in Katie's eyes, but instead, they are dull and blank and confused.

"Do... do I know you?" Katie asks tentatively.

"Katie, it's me, Leanne," she says, trying to stop herself from breaking down there and then. She has been warned that this will happen, that Katie will not know who she is, and yet it still hurts just to look at her. Leanne grips the sides of the chair she is sitting in, next to the bed. "I'm..." she pauses, swallows hard at the growing lump in her throat and forces herself to go on, "I'm... your best friend."

"_Best_ friends? Us? Really?" Katie asks incredulously. Then, her eyes, her beautiful eyes, fill with pity as she says, "I'm so sorry, but I think you're visiting the wrong person. Anyway, should you be at school? How old are you?"

"Eighteen," Leanne whispers. "Same as you. We go to the same school. Hogwarts. Dumbledore-"

"Who?" Katie interrupts, looking even more perplexed.

"Our headmaster," she says, her face anguished, "allowed me to visit you, just for today."

"Just you?"

"Just me."

"Why just you? Where are the rest of my friends?" Katie looks around expectantly, as though she hopes they will jump out of the corner. "And why you didn't visit me before?"

_When was the last time you thought of me?_

_Or have you completely erased me from your memory?_

Leanne can't stand it a moment longer; she looks away from Katie, trying, fruitlessly, to hide the tears that have sprung from her eyes as she remembers how much she has had to argue with Professor McGonagall to allow the visit. She remembers the last time she visited Katie, during Easter. A Katie who didn't remember Leanne at all is only marginally better than an unconscious one, and Leanne wonders how long this - this amnesia will last. What if it goes on forever?

Katie, however, doesn't seem to have registered any of this as she peers at Leanne more closely, taking in her petite form, her dark hair and sweet face.

"I must say, whoever you are, you're very pretty," Katie comments, and now, Leanne blushes furiously. She isn't used to flattery. Not after so long. For a moment, her heart leaps at the prospect of the real Katie coming through, but Katie's eyes still seem blank.

"You think so?" Leanne replies, managing a watery smile towards Katie as the latter nods. "Thank you. You are, too." Leanne isn't lying, either. Katie - with her dark blonde hair splayed out behind her on her pillows, her eyes, which, striking as they are, do not recognise Leanne, and her features sharper than ever - is the most beautiful person Leanne has ever laid eyes on, and she tells her this.

Katie smiles widely, as if used to such compliments, but then she frowns in concentration, abruptly changing the subject. "What did you say your name was again?" Katie asks.

"Leanne," she says.

Katie sits up in her bed, her expression contemplative. "Mum didn't mention anything about a Leanne."

So Katie knows who her mother is, at least. _That's something_.

Leanne hesitates. "Do you... do you want me to explain?"

"Go on, then," Katie says with a shrug. She leans on her elbows and reclines comfortably against her pillows. "I've got nothing better to do with my time, and I could do with some excitement in my life."

Taking a deep breath, Leanne begins. "My mum, Angela Starr, was only a teenager when she had me. Our age, actually. She's Muggleborn, and she lived off benefits until she was well enough to work. When Mum was in labour with me, she struggled to get into St. Mungo's, and that was when she met a woman, who also happened to be pregnant and who was only going in for a check-up. Her name was Mary Bell."

"That's my mum," Katie tells her excitedly.

"Yes," Leanne replies. "Well, Mary helped my mother into the hospital, and because Mum didn't have any other family, Mary was the one who held Mum's hand when she gave birth, and soon after, they became best friends. They were... they _are_, I should say, very different people. At that point, Mum was a poor, Muggleborn teenager, and your mum was a pureblood in her mid-twenties, married to a rich man.

"Despite this, though, their daughters, Leanne and Katie, grew up together and were practically joined at the hip. They were loners, in a way, because they didn't like making friends with others much. They had a few, here and there, but it was nothing like what they had together. So that was okay. Because they had each other. And that meant their childhoods were blissful and normal - for the most part."

Leanne pauses, looking questioningly at Katie, who has opened her mouth as if she wants to say something. But then she shakes her head and folds her arms across her chest.

"Then what?" she asks.

"Then," Leanne says, "they went to Hogwarts."

It was nearing eleven o'clock on September the first: Leanne and Katie were saying their final goodbyes to their parents.

"Make sure you write," Angela whispered to her daughter, clutching her shoulders and kissing her forehead. "Every day. You have to write to me every-"

"Yes, Mum, that's the twenty-sixth time you've said that in the last-" Leanne glanced at her watch "-twenty-two minutes. That's more than once per minute. I promise I will."

"Please don't worry about her, Miss Starr," Katie put in. She was watching their exchange over her mother's shoulder as she hugged her goodbye. "I'll look after Leanne!"

"They'll look after each other," Mary assured Angela. "You'll be fine, won't you, girls?"

Leanne and Katie nodded eagerly. The whistle sounded; the students surrounding them began heaving trunks from the platform onto the train, older siblings helping, and there was a flurry of last-minute hugs, kisses and reminders from parents.

The girls boarded the train just in time, and as the doors shut and the train began to move, Angela called, "Leanne!"

"I won't forget to write!" Leanne stuck her head out of the window, waving as the train picked up speed. Angela's and Mary's faces became tiny blurs, and then, as the train rounded the corner, they disappeared altogether.

They shared a compartment on the train, munching on various sweets and chocolate bars provided by Angela, and speculating what Hogwarts would look like as they had done so many times before. Katie insisted, at one point, on saying hello to Cedric Diggory, who Katie knew from childhood and who was in the year above them, but she and Leanne had soon returned to their own compartment after Cedric had pointed out that it was time for them to get changed. Leanne got the feeling that perhaps, Cedric - or his friends, at least - did not want them there, but she didn't mention this to Katie as they pulled on their robes, nor when they were jammed together in a boat.

They gasped in awe at finally seeing what Hogwarts looked like, but Leanne became nervous when they arrived inside and the subject turned to Houses, amongst the gaggle of first-years closest to them. She didn't want to be apart from Katie.

"Mum's a Hufflepuff, so I might be going there," Leanne told Katie dully as they filed behind the other first-years into Hogwarts. "But I don't think I'm nice enough."

Katie opened her mouth to reply, but then a stern-looking woman appeared. She said, "Welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor McGonagall, and I am the deputy headmistress. You will wait here for a few moments, and perhaps-" at this point, she shot a withering look at the slightly scruffy-looking boy nearest to her "-you should think about making yourself look presentable before the Sorting."

"Sorting?" Leanne repeated in a frantic whisper. "What's that? Are we going to have some kind of test, or-"

"Calm down," Katie told her soothingly. "It'll be fine. I asked Mum, but she wouldn't tell me; she said it would ruin the experience or something-"

"That's what my mum said."

"-so I asked Dad, and he said we just have to put this hat on, and it'll sing a song and we can talk to it and ask to be put in a House and then it'll tell us which one we'll be in."

"But - but how will it know?" Leanne said, her teeth worrying the tips of her nails.

"It just will," Katie reassured Leanne. "Stop worrying. And just because your mum's a Hufflepuff doesn't mean you will be. My mum's a Hufflepuff and my dad's a Ravenclaw, but I don't think I'll be in either House. I think I'll be in Gryffindor."

This did not comfort Leanne in the slightest, but she couldn't voice her protestations because, at that moment, Professor McGonagall returned.

"They are ready for you now," she told them primly, and the first-years collectively shrunk back a little. Then, they straightened and followed her, in a line, towards the huge doors that led to the Great Hall.

Leanne tried not to make eye contact with anyone, despite the fact that she could feel many eyes on her, and it was with bated breath that she waited, amongst the other first-years, for the Sorting Hat to sing its song. She was too distracted to dwell on what the hat was saying, and once it was finished, the name of first student to be Sorted was called out. The hat called out "Slytherin" almost immediately, and the boy sprang off the stool, looking unsurprised, and made his way to the Slytherin table.

It was a simple process. Katie was right. Nothing to be scared of. But Leanne's heart was still beating far faster than normal, and when "Bell, Katie" was called next, her pulse only quickened tenfold.

The Sorting Hat seemed to take forever with Katie, whose eyes were covered by the hat's brim. She was clutching the stool anxiously, and her shoulders sagged in relief when the hat shouted, "Gryffindor!"

Smiling, Katie headed for the Gryffindor table, giving Leanne a quick thumbs-up. Leanne was far too nervous to smile back as more first-years were Sorted, and before Leanne knew it, her name was being called, and she walked to the stool, trembling slightly.

_Well, you certainly have an excellent mind, _said a voice in her ear. Leanne almost jumped.

"Um, thank you?" she replied, trying to be as quiet as possible, not realising that her lips weren't even moving. "I don't really agree with you, but if you say so-"

_Humble, too. Perhaps you are suited to Hufflepuff..._

"I don't know about that."

_But you are clearly opinionated as well, and eager to please. And I can see your brain; I can see that it is begging to be filled to the brim with facts and figures and spells and charms..._

"Yes," Leanne agreed. That was certainly true. "Perhaps..."

_Yes... perhaps... the place for you is..._

"Ravenclaw!"

"Don't worry about it!" Katie insisted when Leanne sidled to the Gryffindor table the next morning at breakfast.

"How can I not worry?"

"We're in so many lessons together, Leanne. It'll be fine. See - look at today. We have Potions _and _Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"That's true," Leanne conceded, and Katie smiled. "But it won't be the same... I wanted us to at least be in the same House."

"Maybe... maybe it happened for the best," Katie said slowly. "Maybe it means we'll make more friends this way. Mum did say that was better for both of us."

"But we'll still be best friends, right?" Leanne asked worriedly.

"Of course, silly! We always will be. Why would you even ask that?"

It was Christmas Day, and Angela and Mary had opened a bottle of wine while the girls had Butterbeer. They were both excited, having never drunk Butterbeer before, and they giggled together and rolled around on the floor, pretending to be tipsy, much to their mothers' amusement. Or, rather, Angela laughed while Mary painted on a fake smile, trying - and failing - to hide how tense she looked. Edward, Katie's father, was noticeably absent throughout the day, and he returned to the house just as the sun was setting, and Angela and Leanne were getting ready to leave. Edward walked in, smelling of alcohol, and Leanne couldn't help but be impressed with how little his words were slurred and how steady on his feet he was given how strong the smell.

Without as much as a greeting, he pointed a shaking finger at Angela and asked her, calmly, "Angela, last Wednesday, where were you?"

Angela, frightened by his abruptness, froze on the spot, gulped and quickly answered, "Leanne and I were in..." Angela quelled under Edward's stare, unable to look away from his cold grey eyes. Leanne, meanwhile, noticed how still Mary had become, and how she was watching the conversation anxiously, gesturing frantically to Angela behind Edward's back. But Angela didn't notice, and Leanne's frown increased.

"Go on," Edward encouraged, his voice still deadly calm. "Leanne and you were..."

"We were in Diagon Alley," Angela babbled, "b-buying Christmas presents for everyone. Then we... we went home together and L-Leanne finished her homework and I cooked dinner."

Leanne flinched as Mary's previously almost hysterical expression became an angry one.

"So it was just you and Leanne?" he asked. Angela nodded, and only then did she notice the look on Mary's face.

"And you went home?"

"We went home," Angela repeated, trying to smile at him. The wrong decision.

"You fucking bitch," Mary spat, and Angela's smile was wiped cleanly off her face as the other woman strode up to her and slapped her across her cheek. And then Leanne had understood; Katie's mother had fed her husband a story about being with Angela that day, and really, Mary had been doing something she shouldn't have been doing. With someone other than Edward.

"Thank you, Angela," said Edward curtly, acting as if his wife wasn't even there. "I think you two should go now." He gestured to the door, his tone dismissive.

"We'll see ourselves out," said Angela quietly, and though a bruise was already forming on her face from where she had been slapped, she did not touch it or in any way acknowledge that it was there. Instead, she caught Katie's eye - for she had been hiding in the corner, watching the spectacle - nodded at her and headed for the door with Leanne.

"Mum, why-" she began, but she didn't finish.

"Not now," Angela hissed.

At that moment, there was a shout from the living room that they had just exited. "Don't you ever come to my house again, Angela!"

Angela halted in her tracks, and after a few seconds, she said, resignedly, "I wouldn't dream of it, Mary."

From then, it became practically impossible for Leanne and Katie to see each other outside of school because of the issues their parents had with each other. Although Mary and Edward did not divorce, Katie reported to Leanne that her mum and dad didn't really talk to each other much anymore. Her father would leave the house for long periods of time, sometimes going away for "business" and almost always returning drunk and angry. At any rate, they no longer appeared to be a proper couple, and Mary blamed Angela for this.

And Leanne didn't understand why Mary held a grudge against Angela any more than Angela did.

"I thought you were best friends?" Leanne had asked her mum when they got home.

Angela smiled wanly and she said, "Best friends… they make mistakes sometimes. They do stupid things. This was one of them. I - I should have covered for her. I knew she was with someone else that day, but I didn't - I didn't think."

Despite this, Katie and Leanne agreed not to let their parents' problems get in the way. Even though Katie's parents had expressly forbidden her to be friends with Leanne, the girls had remained best friends.

And Katie's parents were too wrapped up in their own affairs (quite literally) to notice that Katie and Leanne had continued their friendship at school regardless. Though the girls had become very different people since starting Hogwarts, Leanne being a studious and quiet Ravenclaw and Katie being quite the opposite, an outspoken Gryffindor, they got along with each other very well, as they always had done. They did argue, but over silly, petty things not worth thinking about, and in fact, Katie and Leanne couldn't go very long without speaking to each other.

Strangely, Katie and Leanne didn't ever apologise to one other. After their rows, Leanne would simply stop talking to Katie, or vice versa, and then the next time they spoke, the argument was buried away and forgotten, not brought up again. That was okay, though, because seeing each other outside of lessons (and only in the ones they had together) was rather difficult as it was, being in two different Houses, so they took advantage of the time they were able to spend together rather than spending it arguing.

But most of all, Leanne loved Katie, and she had done since she was little, so for the most part, their first three years in Hogwarts were as happy as their childhoods were, even though they weren't allowed to see each other outside of school.

It was the first of September. Three years had elapsed since they first embarked on their journey to Hogwarts. Leanne, who had arrived at five to eleven, just about had time to say goodbye to her mother before the Hogwarts Express departed from the station. Then, once she had boarded the train, Leanne bent down, trying to lift her trunk and take it to the nearest empty compartment, but she dropped it several times, swearing as it landed on her foot.

"Watch your language, Leanne," said a laughing voice from behind her, and Leanne whipped around at the sound.

She barely recognised Katie.

No longer skinny and flat-chested like Leanne, Katie had clearly grown over the summer. She was taller now, her cardigan clinging to her tiny waist, and her skirt hitched far higher than the usual knee-length. Her hair was piled on top of her head in a carefully messy bun. Leanne squinted at her, wondering briefly if she was wearing eyeliner, but she couldn't be sure.

"What are you staring at?" Katie asked, waving in Leanne's face and bringing her out of her reverie. "Leanne!"

"Sorry," said Leanne, tearing her eyes away, shaking her head and lifting her trunk with Katie's help. "How was your summer, anyway?"

"Same old, same old," she replied. "You know what Mum's like. And Dad. How about you?"

"Mum and Michael split up, and she's been single for the last three weeks - record time!"

"Oh," said Katie, helping her lift the trunk into the luggage rack. "That's a shame - I thought he was actually quite good-looking."

"Katie! He's old enough to be your dad!" Leanne admonished.

Katie giggled, saying, "I know he is, but it's not as if I'm going to - I'm only appreciating beauty, Leanne."

"Beauty? Him?" she said incredulously. Leanne had never heard Katie talk like that - well, not about men of that age, anyway. What had happened to her?

They were interrupted, however, by a knock on the compartment door, and they both turned around to find Cedric Diggory standing in the doorway.

"Hi, Katie," he said, smiling at her and politely nodding at Leanne.

"Hey, how've you been?" Katie asked, grinning back. She squinted at his chest, spying the two brand new badges he was wearing. "Did you get-"

"Yep," he replied happily. "You're looking at the new Hufflepuff Captain. And I got made Prefect as well."

"Wow, that's amazing!" Katie gushed, and Leanne felt like she was pushed aside as Katie and Cedric spent the next ten minutes discussing their respective school Quidditch teams, and the matches that had taken place over the summer. Though Katie tried to include Leanne in the conversation as best as she could, it was difficult for her because Leanne had never cared for the sport, and it was with relief that Leanne half-heartedly waved Cedric goodbye a few minutes later.

It was only as Katie stood and embraced Cedric before waving him off that Leanne realised that she had not even hugged her best friend after not seeing her for two months.

As the school year begun, there was a noticeable change in Katie. Firstly, she was around Cedric a lot more. They were, admittedly, childhood friends, so they had always known each other - but, Leanne thought determinedly, Katie and Cedric's friendship was nothing like Leanne's friendship with her, of course. And while Cedric was always perfectly friendly with Leanne, and there was nothing _wrong_ with him, really, she couldn't help but feel he was intruding sometimes. Leanne could no longer speak openly with Katie, not when Katie wanted to be with _him_ and _his_ friends half the time. And the other half of the time, Katie constantly talked about Cedric, about how bloody amazing he was, and Leanne began to feel irritated whenever she saw him because she was starting to feel overshadowed by him.

While Leanne had never really understood Quidditch, she had always supported Katie (she had done so readily in the case of the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff match - Leanne took any opportunity she could not to be on Cedric's side), even when Leanne's own House, Ravenclaw, was playing against Gryffindor. But it was only during the last match of the term, the one which would decide who won the Cup that year, that Leanne finally realised her feelings - it was only then, in fact, that she understood that she actually _had_ any feelings towards Katie. There was something wonderful, something she couldn't quite explain, about how she felt as she watched Katie fly around the pitch. It was a cliché, yes, but the sight of Katie - looking perfect, radiant, as her blonde hair shone in the sunlight and blew in the wind - did indeed take Leanne's breath away.

When Gryffindor had won against Slytherin, Leanne joined the growing crowd around the team, pushed through, past Cedric, to find Katie and hug her. Then she kissed her. It was supposed to be on her cheek, but it ended up much closer to her mouth than Leanne thought. But rather than pulling away and laughing at her slip-up, Leanne - without thinking, or knowing what the hell she was doing - couldn't stop herself. Her lips moved of their own accord to Katie's lips, and she kissed her full on the mouth. At the sound of catcalls and wolf-whistling from nearby spectators, Katie didn't respond. She just jerked her face away, turned on her heel and left for the changing rooms without even looking at Leanne.

But even Katie couldn't ignore the sounds of jeering from the few onlookers watching their exchange. There had been rumours about the two of them being more than friends since third year, spread by some of the girls in their year who read too much into their linked arms, clasped hands and constant hugs and wanted to cause a stir.

"They're just jealous," Katie used to say to Leanne, rolling her eyes and laughing. "Gossipers don't do friendship, Leanne, and they love stirring things up because they have nothing better to do with their lives than spread lies about people." When Leanne hadn't looked convinced, Katie added, "We're best friends, Leanne. If they can't see that, well, that's their problem."

Normally, Leanne was able to laugh it off, just like Katie did, but after the incident on the Quidditch pitch, Leanne wasn't sure what to think. Because, as strange as it was to admit it, even to herself, she _had_ felt something when her lips were on Katie's, and she wondered what she would have done if there weren't so many people around them.

What on earth did that _mean_? Did Leanne like Katie? As in, _like_ like her, in the way Leanne heavily suspected Katie to _like_ Cedric? Although, when Leanne had asked Katie if she fancied him, she had immediately denied it.

At dinner, after the match, Leanne was sitting next to Marietta Edgecombe, who was busy talking to Cho opposite her. Try as she might, Leanne was distracted all through her meal and only picked at her food, lost in thought. She couldn't stop herself from thinking what it would be like to kiss Katie properly. Alone. With no one around them. Her lips would be soft, and her tongue...

_Stop, _she told herself firmly. What was she thinking?

Leanne decided to talk about it with Katie. She needed to sort her feelings out, try to understand what had happened, and see where they could go from there. After she finished eating, she made her way towards the Gryffindor table. She was oddly nervous about seeing Katie, and she didn't know why; Katie had seen Leanne in her most awkward and embarrassing moments, after all. Her whole life, in fact. But Leanne even found herself rehearsing what to say to Katie, before she angrily reprimanded herself for doing so.

_This is _Katie, she thought. _Only Katie. Your best friend._

She finally found Katie after craning her neck looking for her amongst the other Gryffindors, and she began to make her way towards her. And then Leanne stopped short a few metres away at who was sitting opposite her. Katie threw her head back with laughter at his joke, and then she dug her spoon into her dessert bowl and fed Cedric a spoonful of chocolate gateau.

"Mmm," Leanne heard Cedric say from where she was. "Gorgeous."

Leanne didn't know if he meant the gateau or Katie, but either way, Katie leaned towards him, running her finger up his cheek, looking like she was about to kiss him, and then Leanne gasped aloud. The students nearest to Leanne turned to look at her, including Katie and Cedric; without a word to anyone, Leanne, like the coward she was, turned and left the Great Hall as quickly as she could. She bumped into Marietta, who asked her why she was crying, but Leanne didn't answer, instead rushing out, past the doors. After the spectacle on the Quidditch pitch, it wasn't long before some students were able to put two and two together, and Leanne had a sneaking suspicion, later on, that Marietta was the one to fuel the increasing amount of gossip about Leanne and Katie's changing relationship.

The aftermath of that match marked the beginning of a gulf between Katie and Leanne that only widened over the summer of their fourth year. The two months in which they did not see each other at all meant that by September, their relationship became strained, the words Leanne so desperately wanted to say to Katie still hanging between them. Somehow - and it felt inevitable to Leanne - they didn't see as much of each other as they used to once they started their OWL year.

Leanne, afraid of endangering their friendship further, did not dare mention their kiss to Katie, and Katie also must have dismissed it as unimportant. Similarly, Katie did not mention Cedric again, and Leanne deduced from this that they were no longer together - or maybe they never were, and she had read too much into things. At any rate, Katie and Cedric did not seem to talk and certainly didn't appear to be friends anymore, judging by the fact that Katie was now spending most of her time with her teammates, Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson in the year above.

Besides, Leanne knew, after the Yule Ball, that Cedric was with Cho Chang now, since the latter was Leanne's roommate. Any conversation Katie and Leanne had was stilted and awkward, and while they didn't have arguments, as such, both Katie and Leanne began to make excuses in order to not see each other. Leanne suddenly was swamped with homework and needed to go to the library almost every day, while Katie felt the need to fly around the Quidditch pitch despite the fact that the Inter-House Championship was not taking place that year because of the Triwizard Tournament. Most importantly, for Leanne at least, they had their OWLs to worry about now.

However, one of the rare times with Katie that Leanne always enjoyed was when they watched the tournament tasks together. It was impossible for them to make excuses not to go, since everyone attended, and during those times, it felt like it did before their friendship had become so awkward and sporadic. If they couldn't think of anything to say to each other, they could sit and watch the task in companionable silence - for the most part. But then Katie's shoulder would touch Leanne's, or she would clutch her hand anxiously, waiting for Harry Potter to surface from the lake, or she would accidentally drop something on the floor and when retrieving it, her hand would brush on Leanne's ankle, her head against Leanne's knee, and the unresolved tension between them would return. More than once, Leanne had to stifle a gasp or press her lips together to prevent a moan from escaping them, and she wondered if Katie realised what she was doing to her.

It was during the third task that Leanne's restraint nearly broke. The stands were packed, and they were jammed next to each other on a bench. Every time Katie made the slightest movement, Leanne's body tensed. Katie just couldn't sit still, and her thigh continued to brush against Leanne's as she was at the edge of her seat, sending shivers down Leanne's spine despite the summer heat, until - to her relief - Katie stood up.

Her relief was only temporary, however: moments later, the entire stadium had become deathly quiet, and Leanne also stood, frowning. She couldn't see anything, so she didn't know what was going on.

And then, a horror-struck, frightened scream punctured the bubble of silence in the stands. It was Katie's scream, and it was the most terrible sound Leanne would ever hear in her life.

"Katie," she murmured, but she wasn't sure her friend could hear her. Leanne extended a shaking hand to her shoulder, turning her around, and the look of terror on her paper-white face was unmistakeable. She drew Katie close, hugging her as tight as she could and looking over her shoulder, as if her embrace alone could negate the words echoing all around her, and the sight before her very eyes...

"Is he dead?"

"He's dead!"

"Cedric Diggory! Dead!"

"Katie..." Leanne whispered, squeezing her hand, "Katie, come on. You can't stay out here forever, you know."

The stands were still milling with students, the gentle summer evening breeze fanning across Leanne's face as she led Katie through the crowd, down the steps and across the grounds, into the castle.

"Wh-where are we going?" Katie asked, her voice shaky.

"I'm taking you to your common room."

"I'm sure I can m-make my own way..."

"No," said Leanne firmly. "I'll walk you there. You're upset, and I need to know you get there okay."

Katie nodded weakly before another wave of tears overcame her, and she tried her best to muffle the sounds of her sobbing as they finally reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"'M-mockingbird'," Katie managed to say, and the swung open, admitting her. Leanne stayed where she was, watching her anxiously.

"Come with me," Katie said. "Please-"

"I'm not allowed, Katie," Leanne replied, though part of her was thinking,_ sod the rules_. "I would if I could..."

"Just quickly, please... I don't want to be alone, and I don't know where Angelina and Alicia are - please?" she pleaded, and she looked so close to tears again that Leanne gave in.

"Fine," she said, climbing through the portrait hole. Leanne attracted only a few stares from the handful of Gryffindors who had made it to the common room already, and she didn't care. Katie needed her, and that was all that mattered. "Where's your dormitory?" Leanne asked.

"Up h-here..." Katie made her way unsteadily up, still holding Leanne's hand for support.

"Where are the others?" Leanne asked, looking around the empty room.

"P-probably still outside," she answered. Katie sat on her bed, hugged her knees and said, "I can't believe that - that Cedric's..."

"I know," Leanne said, her voice hollow. She tentatively perched on the edge of Katie's bed, shutting the hangings and casting Silencing Charms around them. "It's so horrible... do you think it's true about... who killed him? It can't be, can it?"

But it was as if Leanne hadn't spoken, and Katie's next words were like knives aimed at Leanne's heart. "I mean, what did Cedric do to deserve it? To deserve death? And what did Cho fucking Chang do to deserve someone like Cedric?"

"Cedric was-" Leanne began, but Katie continued, her voice heavy with grief and eyes full of unfulfilled longing. In fact, Leanne realised, Katie's blue-green eyes - framed with long, glistening lashes - reflected her own: of suppressed, wanton desire and raw grief.

"He was so handsome and smart and brilliant at Quidditch and damn near fucking _perfect_, and I loved him and I told him that and he said no to me and went for _Cho_ instead. And now he's dead." Katie rocked backwards and forwards, still holding her knees, tears streaming from her eyes again.

Leanne was speechless. So she had been right all along. Katie _did_ have a thing for Cedric. Only it was clearly more than just a thing; according to Katie, it was far more than that. According to her, it was love. _Love. _How was this possible? Leanne wanted to say a multitude of things to Katie, mostly about how Cedric was an idiot for refusing Katie... but then she remembered that he was dead. And no matter what, Leanne would never, ever dare speak ill of the dead.

"He was a good person," Katie sobbed. Leanne nodded in agreement; whatever Leanne thought of him, she couldn't deny it. "Why did this have to happen-"

"Katie," Leanne said softly, trying to keep her voice steady, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

What was she apologising for? She didn't even know. It wasn't her fault that any of this happened. Was it for not being Cedric? For being a girl instead of a boy, for not being into Quidditch, for not being good-looking enough? For not being so unlike Cedric?

And then Katie sat up on her knees and leaned forwards, and for one wild moment, Leanne thought she might kiss her; but that was just a stupid, schoolgirl fantasy, a one-sided thing, because now she knew Katie had loved Cedric all this time...

And instead of kissing her, like Leanne so badly wanted, Katie wrapped her arms around Leanne's waist. Leanne tried her utmost to ignore the pain _she_ felt as their chests were crushed together.

"It's going to be okay, Katie, don't worry," Leanne murmured, rubbing her back as Katie buried her head into her chest. And Leanne's pain became worse as she forced herself to pay no attention to her own increasing heartbeat, as she tried to pretend that she was not sitting on a bed with Katie, her face against her breasts...

"No, it won't be okay!" Katie cried. "Cedric is dead, and I loved him so much that it hurt!" Then she looked up and met Leanne's eyes, which were also filled with tears. "Leanne, do you have any idea how it feels to be in love with someone and have them be completely oblivious of you? And then have them ripped away from you? Do you?"

_Yes_, Leanne felt like saying, trying not to move. _Only it's worse, because the person I'm in love with is within fucking distance of me right this second and I can't do a thing -_

"No," Leanne said rather forcefully, more to quell her thoughts than answer Katie. "I - I don't."

Leanne held her, stroking Katie's hair, and that night, they shed more tears than they had ever done before in their lives. But while Katie's sobs were racked in grief, Leanne's cries were full of a year's worth of repressed longing.

**Chapter End Notes:**

I would absolutely love you to pieces if you reviewed.


	2. A Fickle Heart

**A/N:** The substance abuse warning kicks in here, so please read with caution. Thank you, Jamie, for answering every single one of my silly questions on AIM, as well as Sarah, for the initial uber-quick beta job and Alex for the second (especially regarding research and everything :)).

_I know I have a fickle heart,_

_And a bitterness_

_And a wandering eye_

_And a heaviness_

_In my head..._

After their fifth year came to such a disastrous end, Leanne and Katie's already fragile friendship was now held together only by a few strands of cordiality. Neither of them wanted to talk about Cedric, or about Katie's confession of being, supposedly, in love with him; so, like so many of their past arguments, they buried it away and tried to forget about it.

In their sixth year, as well as the fact that Leanne was made a Prefect, they were taking completely different NEWT classes, and in the only lesson they had together, Defence Against the Dark Arts, they were sitting well away from each other. Professor Umbridge, with her silent "lessons", consisting of reading the textbook and writing notes, prevented them from talking to each other at all, and this meant that opportunities even to greet each other - if they wanted to, of course - were slim. Admittedly, they had never had every lesson together anyway. But then, when they were that young, they had made every effort to see each other as often as they could. They didn't have a growing mountain of tension between them then, of problem upon problem, piled one on top of the other.

Therefore, when Harry Potter set up Dumbledore's Army, Katie did not invite Leanne to join. In fact, the two of them did not talk for weeks on end, and when they did, they only managed to snatch a few moments of conversation before one of them, or both, had to rush off somewhere. Leanne was shocked upon finding out about this secret society, where spells were learnt and defence actually _taught,_ but even more so, the fact that Katie was part of it. Katie had revealed this to her after the incident in the Department of Mysteries came to light in the paper, and Leanne tried to hide her irritation that she was not told about it. She suspected it had something to do with her mother, Angela, being in the Ministry, and the fact that Angela was good friends with Marietta Edgecombe's mother, Beatrice.

Sixth year had been hard on Leanne without Katie by her side. At least in fifth year, they were able to talk, or they tried to, anyway. Now, Leanne was alone, and though she had other friends, she missed Katie. Katie had been there to chat to, to laugh with, to ask for advice, to gossip with... Leanne couldn't do that with anyone else. She felt as if she was betraying Katie, somehow, by doing that with someone else. It seemed that they were simply not meant to be _friends_, let alone best friends, or anything more, and Leanne had finally accepted that as part of her fate. She resolved to stop fighting against it, because really, Katie and Leanne should have ceased seeing each other altogether from the age of twelve. Their gradual split was to be expected, Leanne kept telling herself. They had had it coming for years.

Leanne spent most of the summer of her sixth year working. When she wasn't working, she liked to travel. Now that she was able to Apparate, she was able to travel a lot further; going far, far away meant she could be who she wanted and no one would know who she really was. No one needed to know that she was essentially a Muggleborn, or that she had no idea who her father was, or that she, in fact, was a loner, in love with her once best friend...

It was mid-August, on one of the few days she wasn't working, and she was on her way to the shops when she heard screaming. She recognised that scream instantly, and she shuddered at the memory from over two years ago when she last heard it. Leanne went ran into the alley, where the noise was coming from, and sure enough, there she was. A man - a Muggle, she presumed, judging by his clothing - was pinning Katie against the wall, holding a knife at her throat.

At that moment, Leanne saw red. Without thinking, she immediately took out her wand and whispered, "_Stupefy,_" and with a loud bang, the man fell to the ground. She walked towards Katie, who was slumped against the wall, offering her hand to help her up, and Leanne couldn't take her eyes off her as Katie got to her feet.

Her hair was much darker, tied in a messy ponytail and looking like it hadn't been washed for days. Her eyes were bloodshot, with dark shadows under them, and her cheekbones were more pronounced than ever, as if she hadn't been eating regularly. There was also a fresh bruise on . Leanne stared at her, open-mouthed, wondering what on earth had caused such drastic changes on her appearance.

Katie winced, biting her lip to stop herself crying out in pain. "Stay still," Leanne ordered, closely examining her neck. Sure enough, there was a long slash where the blade had been pressed, but thankfully, it looked fairly shallow, and Leanne quickly passed her wand over it, staunching the blood and managing to heal the skin. She silently thanked Merlin that she had gone on that pre-Healing course back in July.

"Better?" she asked softly.

"Much better," Katie replied, speaking for the first time since Leanne arrived. "Thank you." She tried to smile, but while her lips turned upwards, her eyes failed to light up like they had before.

_What had happened to the old Katie?_ Leanne wondered. The Katie she knew, the one with a joyous smile and infectious laugh had been replaced - by this stranger.

"Does it still hurt?" Leanne asked, concerned. Katie shook her head. "What's going on, anyway? Who is he?" asked Leanne, gesturing at the unconscious man lying face down at her feet.

"No one," Katie said quickly, looking down at him too.

"Who is he?" Leanne repeated. "Tell me, Katie. I'm not leaving until you do." However, Leanne was quite worried; she had, after all, just Stunned a Muggle, and there was every possibility that he had friends who could come after her.

Katie hesitated at her question and tried to change the subject. "You've changed, Leanne. You're... tougher."

But Leanne quickly dismissed this. "Times change, people change," she said shortly. She thought, briefly, of one of the reasons why she went on a pre-Healing course, which was designed mainly because You-Know-Who was back. The knowledge that he was out there, somewhere, along with Death Eaters and Inferi and God knew what else, had made her a different person. "Now, _who is he_, and why the fuck was he trying to kill you?"

Katie raised her eyebrows, but then she gave in and said, "His name is Anthony Marino. He's a-"

"I know what he is, Katie," Leanne snapped. "Why on earthare you messing with a drug dealer?"

Katie stared at Leanne, stunned. "How do you know-" Katie began, but Leanne cut her off.

"I live in London, Katie, in case you forgot. He's in the Muggle newspapers all the time, but somehow, the police have never been able to get him. I just didn't recognise his face at first. Anyway, you're - you're not using, are you?" Leanne didn't know whether to sound disapproving or scared, but the truth was that she was a mixture of both.

"They're for my mum," Katie mumbled. Leanne gasped, and Katie bent down, opened Marino's coat pocket and took out a small package. She straightened up and stowed it away into her jacket, a defiant look on her face as if daring Leanne to admonish her. "We're skint, and Mum needs _something_, so..."

"You were going to fob him off and just take the drugs?" Leanne asked lightly. "What is she taking, anyway?"

"Heroin." There was a sharp intake of breath from Leanne, and Katie suddenly lost her composure, pulling at her hair. "Look, okay, my mother is depressed and ill and she _needs_ a fix. Now. She's never gone this long without taking something. She'll go crazy if she doesn't get it. She really will. Fuck, she's probably insane already, the things she's done, to me, to my family, to everyone this summer. No, not just this summer, for her whole fucking life, actually," she spat, and the anger that flared in her eyes almost scared Leanne.

Katie's hands shook before she clenched them into fists and continued, "Not to mention the things she's made _me_ do. And we can't afford it at the moment - all the money in my Gringotts account was taken out when this all started, after I came back from Hogwarts in June, and she owes practically all of her friends money, and we've only got a few Sickles and Knuts left in the house, and I had no choice, Leanne, really I didn't, and if I could pay this bastard, I would, but I can't because the little money we have left is how food is put on the table, and Mum is in no physical state to come down to London and meet him, so-" Katie, realising she needed to take a breath, stopped and exhaled deeply, closing her eyes.

Leanne blinked and tried to appear calm in order to hide her shock at Katie's words. She didn't know what to say, and her mouth opened and closed several times before she managed to speak. "How long has this been going on for?"

Katie shook her head, and suddenly, her anger seemed to dissipate. "Long enough," she said quietly.

They both knew it wasn't a proper answer, so Leanne pressed her. "How long?"

There was a long pause, and then Katie finally replied, "Ages. Two years, I think. But she started off with hash, which wasn't too bad, and it was cheap too, and then I found out at Christmas that had she moved on to coke. Once I came back for the summer, she was on heroin."

"And who knows about it?"

"No one."

"How come you didn't tell me any of this before?" The words were out of Leanne's mouth before she could stop herself, and only then did she realise how callous she sounded.

"It's my problem, Leanne, not yours," said Katie quietly. "It's my heart. And my burden. And I would never bring you down like that*. Especially since, well, we haven't been very close over the past year, have we?"

_The past two years,_ Leanne thought regretfully. She didn't correct her, though, instead asking, "And why are you buying it from a Muggle dealer?"

"They're cheaper," Katie replied shortly. A damning silence fell between them, and it seemed to go on forever until Katie said, "Well, I'd better get going. Mum needs-"

"I'll come with you," Leanne interrupted.

"No, you don't have to..."

"I want to."

"Fine," Katie said, sighing. "But I don't know how happy Mum will be to see you there."

"It's not a problem - but what about your dad?"

"He left Mum for good a while ago, in June," she said, and her eyes were filled with that same bitterness Leanne had seen earlier. "Bastard. I tried writing to him, asking him for money, you know, not just for food, but books for school and stuff. Anyway, he actually replied, saying he'd drop by and take me to Diagon Alley and give me money. No fucking sign of him." Katie's hand was twisting the end of her ponytail again, almost unconsciously.

"Katie," Leanne said, not liking how Katie's words were becoming harsher and harsher by the minute - but she got no further as Katie cut her off.

"Let's not talk about it, all right? If you want to come, let's go. I'll take you." Katie grabbed Leanne's wrist rather roughly and twisted on the spot, and they landed in front of a squalid block of flats, a tiny park situated on their right.

_They live _here_? _Leanne thought in disbelief. After the Bells' majestic mansion in Worcestershire, Katie and her mother chose _this_ place to live in?

Katie used her key to get in through the main door. Leanne followed Katie up the stairs, carefully avoiding the piss on the steps and pinching her nose so as not to smell it.

"Mum," Katie called as she opened the door to their flat. "Mum, I've got it."

"It's about bloody time!" Leanne actually flinched at how horrible and cracked Mary's voice had become. But that was nothing compared to what she now looked like; she no longer wore makeup, or made any attempt to hide her dry-looking lips and red-rimmed eyes, and her hair resembled a rat's nest. Her clothes were hanging off her unnaturally thin frame, and her skin, covered in a thin film of sweat, had an unhealthy yellowish hue that was alarmingly unlike her normal pale complexion.

Mary didn't even seem to notice Leanne; instead, she almost lunged at her daughter, who hurriedly handed over the package. Sitting at the grimy table, she tore it open, her hands shaking as she did so, and she placed some of the heroin on the foil before lighting a tube. She waited for it to heat up before she inhaled, and then Leanne couldn't watch her any more. Wincing, she turned to Katie. She gestured towards a room Leanne hadn't noticed before, presumably the kitchen, and then she followed her inside before shutting the door.

"I would have offered you a drink, or something to eat, but there's not really much..." Katie trailed off, embarrassed.

Leanne shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Tell you what, come to mine. You look like you haven't had a proper meal in ages."

"That's because I haven't," she spat sullenly. Leanne's face fell, and Katie quickly apologised. "Fuck, I didn't mean that. I mean, I did, but-"

"Don't worry about it," Leanne repeated softly. "Come on, then."

Katie was sitting cross-legged on Leanne's bed. She had showered and washed her hair, and she was wearing a pretty, knee-length black dress of Leanne's, her stomach full. Angela, who had cooked dinner, had greeted her like an old friend - which, Leanne supposed, Katie was. Leanne came in, levitating a tray with two mugs of tea on it. It hovered in the air; Leanne took one mug, sat down and directed the tray to Katie with her wand.

"I didn't know how much sugar you wanted, so..."

"Thanks," said Katie. She spooned in three heaps of sugar and stirred, blowing the steam away softly. "So... how have you been?"

"I've been okay," said Leanne, sipping her tea. "I've been working."

"Where?"

"The Ministry, St. Mungo's. I did a pre-Healing course for beginners, too. Just some training stuff, especially since - since You-Know-Who's back."

"Mmm," Katie said, trying to look nonchalant, but failing as her free hand balled into a fist.

Leanne continued. "We learnt some useful spells as well, like the one I used on your neck."

"Thank you," Katie said sincerely. "I just realised - I never thanked you properly. You saved my life back there."

Leanne shrugged and smiled. "No problem," she said. "I know you'd do the same for me."

"How did you manage to get jobs in all those places?" asked Katie.

"Mum helped me," said Leanne. "She knows a few people here and there, so..."

There was a pause in which they both drank more tea, and then Katie let out a short, terse laugh.

"Something funny, Katie?" Leanne said, frowning.

"Not funny, no. It's just ironic, you know, how your mum, the Muggleborn, the single mother who doesn't even know who the father of her daughter is, is the one who society would expect to buy drugs from a Muggle drug dealer - not my mum."

"Please don't say that about-"

"And," Katie continued relentlessly, "_you're_ meant to be the one, not me, to lock yourself in your room and cover your ears to try and block out the sounds of your mum screwing some bloke in the next room - _with the door open_. The world expects that_ you_ hide your mum's knickers from where they're flung on the stairwell when your dad comes home. Not me."

Leanne grimaced. "I still can't believe that my mum didn't realise she was supposed to be covering for Mary."

"What?" said Katie, confused.

"When we were in our first year," Leanne clarified. "That Christmas..."

"Oh. But Mum shouldn't have been cheating anyway, and then she wouldn't need a fucking cover story."

"True. But still. My mum was best friends with yours," Leanne said.

"Mum overreacted," Katie said firmly. "And she expected your mum to go crawling back to her; she didn't think that little mistake would cost her their friendship. Would you do the same for me?"

"What?"

"If, say, I slept with someone I shouldn't have-"

"That depends on _why_ you shouldn't have slept with them," said Leanne. "And who you're sleeping with. If it's because you don't love your partner and you love the other person, then yes, I would. But if-"

"-if I was lonely and I wanted companionship, but I didn't love them?"

"Darling," Leanne said (she had no idea why she was calling Katie that, and the word of endearment tasted strange on her tongue) as a slightly twisted smile formed on her lips, "we're all lonely*. That doesn't mean you need to-"

"But would you or wouldn't you?" Katie pressed.

"Why does it matter, Katie? It's not like you - unless - are you? Do you... do you have someone?" she enquired tentatively, trying to sound curious rather than apprehensive.

Katie shook her head to Leanne's immense relief. "There's no one. Not that I would have the time for it anyway. I just wanted to know. It's just - I know things would have been different between us if your mum and my mum didn't have that argument. We would probably still be friends now." Leanne opened her mouth as if she was going to argue, that they were still kind of friends, but then Katie glanced at her watch. "Speaking of which - I should go," she said, making to stand up.

"No, why don't you stay the night?" Leanne said without thinking. "Please, for old times' sake?"

"What about my mum?" she asked.

"What about her?" she countered. "She'll be fine. Besides, I've - I've missed you," Leanne confessed. "Please?"

It took a bit more persuasion, but eventually, Katie agreed to it, on the condition that she return to the flat and check on her mother. Leanne suspected that Katie did not want to be in that seedy flat any more than she wanted her mother to be a junkie, but now Katie was responsible for Mary, she couldn't leave her by herself for too long. She quickly Apparated to her flat and checked on her mum, who, Katie reported, was sound asleep. Then she left some food, courtesy of Angela, on the table, and she returned to Leanne's. Leanne insisted on sleeping on the camp bed, while Katie was in Leanne's proper one, and as they sipped hot chocolate together, the conversation soon turned to Katie, and how she had spent her summer.

"I've been doing... errands," Katie said slowly, the smile on her face disappearing. She had changed into her nightdress and was sitting on Leanne's bed, while Leanne was lying, facing the ceiling, on the camp bed, thankful for the distance between them.

"What kind of errands?" Leanne asked nervously, not sure she wanted to know the answer.

"Making deliveries - for Muggles. I'm a good person to use: no one - the police, other gangs - would suspect me. I'm just some scruffy blonde girl who wants a bit of cash." She laughed humourlessly. Leanne did not join in.

"What was the sort of thing you had to deliver?"

Katie grimaced. "Drugs, knives, guns," she said, counting them off her fingers, "even the odd body part when someone wanted to be extra cruel."

Leanne looked scandalised. "Damn," she muttered. "And you couldn't find any better way of earning?"

"It's quick, easy money-"

"It's also stupid and life-threatening - Katie, look at what happened today!" Leanne said. She sat up, ready to chastise her, but then she saw the expression on Katie's face.

"You try funding your mum's drug habit all by yourself when none of her posh and rich friends want to give a job to you, because you're up to your fucking eyeballs in debt," Katie said, suddenly angry again. "And _you _try putting three meals on that dirty table in that tiny flat every fucking day, and _you_ have a go at living my life. Don't you think I would much rather stay at home and not earn a Knut, or at least sit behind a desk all day and be paid peanuts? Of course I would. Do you seriously think that I would get stabbed in the leg doing one of those deliveries not knowing what the outcome of it would be? Look-" She lifted up her nightdress, and there was a bandage around her thigh. Leanne visibly winced, and then she looked away. "Merlin, Leanne, you may have six more OWLs than me, but I'm not five, you know." She took a deep breath, met Leanne's eyes properly and said, "I'm-"

"No, don't be sorry," Leanne said quickly. "Don't apologise. I deserved that. You're right. I didn't think." With as much cheerfulness as she could muster, Leanne managed a grin and quickly changed the subject to Angela's latest boyfriend. Soon, the two of them were talking and laughing and crying together, catching up on what had been going on in their very separate lives for the last two years. They finally fell asleep at three in the morning.

**Chapter End Notes:**

This story was written for a swap. My recipient has a tendency to write about people drinking tea, raising eyebrows and swearing, so I just had to include all three of these things, hehehehe.

All reviews are replied to, so please review! Even if it's just a one-liner, I would absolutely love to know what you think.


	3. The Reason You Loved Me Before

_But don't you remember?_

_Don't you remember?_

_The reason you loved me before_

_Baby, please remember me once more..._

Not long after they had fallen asleep, the sun was rising; Leanne could see its bright glare through the tiny space between the curtains, and this, along with Katie crying in her sleep, woke Leanne up. Leanne was grateful for the soundproof spells in her room; without them, they would have kept her mother up with their shrieks of laughter last night, and Leanne knew Katie's screams would have woken Angela now too.

Katie's eyes were full of terror as she sat up in bed, gasping. "Don't kill me, please..."

"Katie, no one's going to kill you," Leanne soothed, automatically getting up and sitting on her bed. She hesitated, and then she lightly placed her arms around Katie, pressing a soft kiss on her forehead and stroking her hair. "It's okay... you're safe, Katie. You're with me. It was just a dream."

"It was real," she sobbed, her voice muffled because her face was against Leanne's neck. "I'm sure it happened... he was - he was going to kill me... he had a knife..."

"It's all right," was the soft reply. "You were only dreaming, love." Leanne felt Katie's trembling body shift upwards until her eyes, sparkling with tears, were level with Leanne's.

"You - you promise?"

"I promise," Leanne whispered back, biting her lip and just about managing to stay still. Katie's mouth was less than an inch away from Leanne's, and this made it difficult for her to think straight. "It was only a dream. It won't ever happen again." Leanne tried to release her, as gently as possible, but Katie clung to her and wouldn't let her go.

"N-never?" Katie repeated, and she was so close to Leanne now that her lips briefly touched Leanne's as she spoke, setting them on fire.

"Never," Leanne said encouragingly, and then she couldn't stand it a second longer. Leanne kissed Katie, tentatively at first, ready to stop at any moment, almost as if she were waiting for Katie to pull away. To her surprise and delight, however, Katie kissed her back, with just as much fervour and desperation. Leanne gently pushed at Katie's shoulders so Katie was lying against the pillows, and their legs tangled together as Leanne slowly traced the outline of Katie's thin face with her fingertips. She brushed away the tears on her cheeks, lightly touching her eyelids, running them down the sides of her nose and around her mouth. Her lips followed where her fingers had been, kissing her forehead, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, and then they met Katie's lips, and Leanne could taste pure, unadulterated ardour.

Leanne broke away and looked searchingly into Katie's eyes, seeking her permission. Katie nodded, closing her eyes and letting out a shuddering breath as Leanne's lips moved downwards, down to the hollow of Katie's neck, her shaking hands pulling down the straps of her nightdress. "Tell me when to stop," Leanne whispered, her lips against Katie's skin.

"Don't stop," Katie murmured back, as she lifted Leanne's t-shirt over her head. Leanne proceeded to explore Katie's body, hoping - no, knowing, that Katie would do the same to her. And then they were lost in each other, in a heated swirl of tongues and hands and lips, and Katie's nightmare was completely forgotten as, afterwards, they slept soundly in each other's arms.

"Darling," Angela called, "don't you think it's time you woke up?"

Leanne awoke with a jolt. She was alone, her bed feeling strangely empty. Though the curtains were shut, the sun shone brilliantly in her face through that small gap, so she closed her eyes, blocking out the light. As she did so, the memories of last night came back to her: Katie, in her bed, Katie, her body pushing against Leanne's, Katie, her lips trailing down Leanne's midriff, to...

She shook her head, trying to rid herself of the thought, and she looked at her clock. It was two in the afternoon, much later than when Leanne normally woke up. Katie had obviously left earlier. Why? Was it because she had to get back to her mum, or -

"Leanne, I'm going to come in." Her mother's voice.

_Fuck._

Leanne sat up, the duvet sliding off her bed and landing on the floor. Angela could not possibly come in. Not now. Leanne was sure the room smelt of sex, and she knew that that alone would trigger unwelcome questions.

"Mum, I'm up," Leanne said loudly. "Don't come in, though; I'm not dressed."

"All right. Is everything okay, dear?"

"Fine!"

"Are you sure?" Angela asked.

"Yes, Mum," she insisted crossly. "I'll be down in a bit."

Silence. _Thank Merlin,_ Leanne thought as she heard footsteps go down the stairs. She got up, cast a charm to freshen the air and opened the window before going straight into the shower. The tepid water on her back was refreshing, and as she reached for the shampoo, she wondered why Katie had abruptly left like that, without even waking her. Was it because she felt having sex with Leanne was a mistake? Or maybe Katie didn't really care about her, and she just slept with her out of... well, what was it that Katie felt towards her? Was it love, or lust? Loneliness, perhaps? Leanne knew that she loved Katie, and she had done for a long time. But when it came to what Katie thought about Leanne... she had no idea.

Was Katie embarrassed? She could have been. And, Leanne remembered, wincing as soap suds got into her eyes, Katie had previously reacted badly to the idea of being anything except friends with Leanne.

But then, Leanne remembered what happened last night. Katie could have pushed her away and just left if she wanted to. She didn't have to kiss her back. And yet she still did. What did that _mean_?

Wrapping her towel around her, Leanne emerged from the shower and went back to her room, where she dried herself, and she had just finished getting dressed when the door suddenly opened and Leanne's mother came in, bearing a breakfast tray. She flicked her wand, setting the knife to work buttering toast.

Leanne's initial annoyance that her mum came in without knocking disappeared at the sight of food. She was about to thank her, but then Angela made her get up so she could make her bed. "Mum, can you leave, please?" Leanne said, irritated.

"Your room is a mess, Leanne," she said sternly. "You're seventeen years old - when are you going to learn to tidy up? And why is everything on the floor?"

Leanne froze as her mother picked up a very familiar-looking nightdress, a frown on her face.

"Did you lend this to Katie yesterday? Silly girl, she's as messy as you. Where did she get to, by the way?" Her tone was casual, and to Leanne's relief, she couldn't have known about what Leanne and Katie had done last night, but Leanne could tell that she was concerned about Katie nevertheless.

"Mum, please just go," Leanne pleaded, avoiding her question. But her mother remained where she was, tossing the dress into the washing basket and folding her arms.

"Is everything all right with you two?" Angela asked, creases forming on her forehead.

"Everything's fine, Mum," Leanne said, and then, she could not bear to look at her mum anymore. Grabbing a piece of toast, she quickly left her room and was out of the door before Angela could say anything further to her.

Leanne didn't know where she was going until she left the confines of her house. There, she Apparated outside Katie's flat. The first thing she noticed was that there were a lot more people around than there were yesterday. Unfriendly-looking people. She tried to ignore them, instead marching up to the flat, munching on her toast, where the door was about to close. She just about managed to get in before it shut.

Quickly, Leanne went up the stairs and down the corridor, where, in addition to the piss she had seen yesterday, there was also the stench of vomit in the air. She almost retched, and it took all her willpower to keep her mouth shut and force the bile back down her throat. Reaching the door, she knocked twice, took a deep breath and waited.

There was no answer. Leanne knocked again, but after ten minutes of waiting, she realised that either they both weren't in, or Katie's mother was there, too out of it to answer the door.

"What you doing?"

Leanne whipped around at the sound of the voice coming from a woman further down the corridor. She looked like she was in her twenties, possibly, and she wore a bandanna and had several piercings in scary-looking places.

"I'm - I'm looking for someone."

"What's their name?" the woman asked, frowning suspiciously.

"Katie. Katie Bell." The stranger raised a pierced eyebrow, shaking her head. "She's tallish, um, blonde..." Leanne trailed off, unable to find the words to adequately describe Katie.

"Pretty?" she said.

"Beautiful," Leanne said immediately. The woman shook her head.

"I don't know who you're talking about, love," she said. "You must be in the wrong flat - I've lived here ten years and there's never been no Katie anywhere. No pretty girls, neither, I'm afraid. 'Part from you, of course," she added, giving Leanne a cursory once-over.

"Mary Bell?" Leanne tried, ignoring her last words.

"Nope. Sorry. I've seen no Bells nor Katies nor no one who you're talking about. Good luck finding them," the woman called as she opened her door.

Leanne groaned. What was she going to do? She had to find Katie, but she was nowhere to be seen, and apparently, she didn't even live here.

So where was she?

_I gave you the space for you to breathe_

_I kept my distance for you to be free_

The remainder of Leanne's summer holiday passed rather slowly. After she went to the flat, Leanne had also Apparated to where Katie used to live, in Worcestershire. She had no luck there, either. She tried contacting her by owl, too. Not once did she get a reply, and then Leanne just gave up.

Somehow, it seemed inevitable that it would come to this. Leanne knew even kissing her was potentially putting their friendship into jeopardy, let alone sleeping with her. That was the whole reason she had hidden her feelings for so long. But Leanne had taken the risk and given in to her own desires, and now, she was facing the consequences.

Her mother had not asked her about Katie again, and their relationship began to deteriorate too. Leanne no longer wished to confide in her mother, or, rather, she felt she couldn't. Her feelings for Katie had been her deepest, darkest secret. She had suppressed it for so long that she did not want anyone, least of all her own mother, to know any more about it than they already did.

Leanne was glad to go back to Hogwarts in September, but she was also scared about seeing Katie. She did not look for her on the train, and she was not able to at first anyway, because as newly-appointed Head Girl, she had to head the Prefects' meeting and then patrol the train. Once patrol was over, Leanne passed the compartment Katie was in (she was with a couple of Gryffindor sixth-years), but she didn't go in, not knowing what to say. Especially in front of those girls, who she knew were infamous for their tendencies to gossip.

In fact, since they were sitting at their respective House tables in the Great Hall for dinner, and then Leanne immediately had to lead the first-year Ravenclaws to their common room, they did not see each other until the next day. Leanne, after receiving her new timetable at breakfast, had gone straight to Defence Against the Dark Arts, her first lesson, fifteen minutes early, and she was soon joined by Katie.

Leanne did not look up as she approached, instead opening her bag, intending to start reading the textbook. But then she felt a hand close on her wrist, and Leanne snatched her arm away as though burned.

"What's wrong?" Katie asked. Leanne did not reply, stepping back, although she couldn't stop herself from looking at her.

She looked well, Leanne thought, her face less gaunt, but still with her cheekbones jutting out at such an angle that Leanne was sure they could cut glass. Katie's eyes, too, held that same hardened, slightly bitter look to them, as if they had seen far too much in a short amount of time, and definitely more than most seventeen-year-olds had.

"How have you been?" she asked Leanne. Leanne didn't answer, trying to pretend to be engrossed in the book. "Congratulations, by the way. I always thought you'd be Head Girl."

Still, Leanne said nothing, pretending to focus on her book.

"You can't ignore me forever, you know." Against her will, Leanne looked up and shook her head, unable to say anything. Katie, encouraged, placed a cautious hand on Leanne's arm, but Leanne was almost thankful when they were interrupted.

"Perhaps you'd like to continue this lovers' tiff in detention, Miss Starr, Miss Bell," said Snape coldly. Leanne shook her head frantically, and Snape sneered, noticing the badge on her chest. "I should think not, Miss Starr. The headmaster certainly would not want the new Head Girl to be in trouble on her first day back. Inside," he instructed, and Leanne realised that more of the class had arrived. She followed Katie in, choosing a desk well away from her, but that did not faze Katie. A few minutes later, Katie charmed a piece of parchment to fly to Leanne while Snape had his back turned, writing on the blackboard.

_Please can we talk? I'll be outside the Prefects bathroom at 5pm._

_Please._

_Katie_

_xxx_

"I haven't got long," Leanne muttered to Katie, looking around carefully outside the bathroom door.

"That's okay. I just... I just wanted to see you," said Katie. "I've - I've missed y-"

"What do you want?" Leanne interrupted, her tone veering close to belligerence.

"Listen... I'm sorry I took off so suddenly in the summer-" she began.

"Oh, when you decided that you wanted a quickie with whoever you could find before you left to wherever you went?"

"Leanne, that's not fair," Katie whispered. "I had my reasons..."

"You could have woken me up! You could have left a note! Anything!" Leanne shouted. Realising they were attracting unwanted attention, Katie gestured at the door to the Prefects' bathroom. Leanne was already distressed, so she nodded, said the password and entered, Katie at her heels. Leanne was keen to put as much space as possible between her and Katie, so she sat on the rim of the bath, and Katie took the hint and kept her distance from Leanne, leaning against the wall several metres opposite her.

"You could've been dead for all I knew," Leanne continued heatedly. "I didn't know anything about where you were, what you were doing... Even if it was just a quick letter - something, anything-"

"I couldn't let you know." Katie paused and took a deep breath before going on. "At about eleven that day, there was an owl knocking on your window, and it woke me up. You were still sleeping. It was from my dad - I had to go straight away. Mum - Mum overdosed."

"B-but - you checked on her!" Leanne stuttered, her cold demeanour towards her melting instantly. "You said she was fine! And - your dad-"

"I thought she was okay. She was asleep when I saw her. She must have taken more after I left - I didn't think to check if she'd used it all up, but she obviously had. "

"H-how is she now?" Leanne asked, almost scared to know the answer.

Thankfully, Katie smiled. "She's fine. She's doing really well now, thank Merlin. It seems that, given the right treatment, she should be fully recovered eventually. It's thanks to Dad more than anything, though. He came round on the day you did, just after I'd left, actually. You remember me telling you how he was going to take me to Diagon Alley?" Leanne nodded. "Well, he came to pick me up a bit later than we planned, and when no one answered the door, he went in anyway and found Mum."

"That... that was lucky," Leanne said somewhat inanely, for want of something else to say. Katie, thankfully, didn't seem to see it that way.

"It was," Katie said sincerely. They stood in silence for a while, just looking at each other, and finally, Leanne had enough and broke it.

"So... what happens now?" she asked.

Katie looked confused as she said, slowly, "Well, Mum's supposed to be coming home by Christmas..."

"No, Katie. I didn't mean - I meant... about us." As soon as the words left her mouth, Leanne regretted saying them, because Katie stopped short, suddenly looking unsure of what to say.

"Oh. Erm, I-" Katie hesitated, biting her lip as if trying to choose her words carefully, but Leanne jumped in, misinterpreting her completely.

"It's okay," she said quickly. "I understand-"

"No, you don't bloody understand, Leanne!" Katie said shrilly. But then she paused as her voice echoed around the room.

"Katie, it's - it's okay. I'll just… go…" Leanne got up and made her way to the door, and she was about to turn the doorknob when Katie's hand suddenly on her shoulder rooted her to the spot.

"Please just listen to me. Please. Look, I - I want to be with you!" Katie burst out.

"Wh-what?" said Leanne disbelievingly, now stock still.

"You heard me," she murmured, her arms snaking around Leanne's waist from behind. "I want us to be together. I should have contacted you; I know I should have, but I was too busy being worried about Mum. And then - I don't know, Leanne. I just didn't know what to say. I thought you probably hated me for going like that-"

"I could never hate you," said Leanne. "Never. I - but-"

"But nothing, Leanne. Please... just - just say yes. Isn't this what you want?"

Leanne couldn't quite believe what was happening, and she wanted it more than anything, but she had to make sure. "I don't want this to be just a- of course it's what I want. It's what I've wanted for ages - but I want to be with you. Properly. Seriously. Not-"

"It won't be anything you don't want. I'm serious. I want that too."

"You're sure?" Leanne managed to say as she felt Katie's lips on the nape of her neck.

"Of course I am," Katie said firmly. And then Leanne couldn't stand it any longer; she twisted around and kissed her full on the mouth. As Katie's tongue entered her mouth, any protests Leanne had dissolved on her lips.

The weeks that followed were some of the happiest times of Leanne's life. They stole every possible moment with each other, and it was wonderful being able to hold hands with Katie or casually kiss her in greeting without having to worry about consequences. Better still was the fact that neither Katie nor Leanne were fifteen-year-olds anymore; no longer scared of what other students thought of them, Leanne didn't care about what was being said behind her back. No one dared to say anything to the Head Girl's face anyway, and Leanne was keen to keep it that way. Meanwhile, she had Katie all to herself, and that more than compensated for the little trouble she received for going out with a girl.

Besides which, it was only those rumour-mongers who actually listened to the gossip that actually knew about them. Most students, Leanne reasoned, had their own lives to be getting on with, and since You-Know-Who had returned, the Head Girl's sexuality was the least of Hogwarts' concerns. In fact, most assumed that they were just very, very good friends, and Leanne saw no reason to deny that, because Katie was indeed her best friend as well as her lover.

It was Halloween when Leanne told Katie this. They had left early on in the feast to Leanne's dormitory. They were sitting cross-legged on the bed opposite each other, talking, and at Leanne's words, Katie just smiled at her, leaning back and resting more comfortably against the pillows. It was one of her mysterious smiles, from which Leanne couldn't guess whether Katie approved of what she was saying or not.

"That's why I'm so glad I'm with you," Leanne continued, when Katie didn't say anything. "I can hug and kiss you because you're my best friend and no one needs to know anything else."

"I don't really care about what anyone else thinks," said Katie thoughtfully. "I never have. And - you know... we're so different, you and me."

"We are, aren't we?" said Leanne, sighing, the smile disappearing from her face as she reached out and took Katie's hand. Unconsciously, Leanne dragged her thumb slowly across Katie's palm, as she said, slowly, "Katie... sometimes, I wonder why you're with me at all. And I think others wonder the same."

Katie shook her head in disbelief. "Leanne, you are, hands down, _the_ most intelligent person I have ever had the good fortune to know. Hands down. But you really don't get it, do you?"

"Get what?" Leanne was bemused.

"We're - we're together because I think you are smart and funny and caring and loyal and eloquent and beautiful and I fancy the pants off you. If no one can see that, then they're all idiots. Really, though, all I care about is being with you. Sod everyone else."

"I'm not beautiful," Leanne said unnecessarily. Then she moved forwards, pulling Katie's legs apart so Leanne was kneeling between them, and she kissed her rather teasingly on the nose. "But I'm flattered you think I am-"

"Oh, stop pretending, Leanne. You," she said quietly, placing the barest kiss on her lips and smiling, "need to stop being so hard on yourself."

She smiled back. "If you say so."

Later on, Katie and Leanne reluctantly pulled away from each other, their foreheads still close together after another lingering kiss. Even after more than a month of them being together, Leanne felt content just to gaze at her and drink her in, her lips so close to Katie's, Leanne's arms enclosing Katie's waist, knowing that Katie was hers. But she didn't dare blink, in case Katie suddenly disappeared, and the whole thing turned out to be some kind of illusion, a dream, a fantasy. No. That could not happen. Leanne was too in love with Katie for that.

"What's on your mind?" Katie asked her softly, slowly running her finger up Leanne's bare arm, up her shoulder, across her collarbone and then downwards, between her breasts, tracing circles on her stomach. "You look... deep in thought. What are you thinking about?"

"How much you mean to me," Leanne murmured, her eyes bright and earnest. As Katie's hand moved lower, Leanne's heartbeat quickened, and the familiar cloud of heat started to rise in the pit of her stomach. Then, Leanne took a deep breath and said, "Katie... Katie, I lo-"

Suddenly, appearing to sense what Leanne was going to say, Katie silenced her with a crushing kiss, and they were both breathless when they broke away. "Don't," Katie whispered. "Please. No words... especially words you feel obliged to say."

"But I-" Leanne tried to protest, but to no avail.

"No, Leanne. Don't do this." It was not an order; it was a plea.

Silence. Leanne stiffened in Katie's arms, and her hands fell limp at her sides. She tried to say to Katie that she _wanted_to tell Katie how much she loved her. She needed to. But it was like someone had put a Silencing Charm on Leanne, and she just couldn't speak.

Slowly extricating herself from Katie, Leanne sat up and got off the bed, reaching for their pile of clothes. She began to put them on with trembling hands, trying to ignore Katie, who had joined her and done the same. Even as their hands brushed against each other in retrieving their various articles of clothing, Leanne still felt the sparks that flickered between them as skin touched skin, however briefly. Katie, who dressed quicker than her, waited for Leanne, her arms folded, as Leanne shakily pulled on her skirt. Leanne was nervous under Katie's unblinking gaze, finally pressing her lips together to stop herself from crying as she fastened her bra wrong for the second time. A mere look could be so, so physical, and it was only in the last month that Leanne realised this.

"H-here, let me..." Before Leanne could do or say anything to say otherwise, Katie hooked it on properly for her. Then Katie picked up Leanne's shirt, and she gently put it on her too, slowly doing up Leanne's shirt buttons. All the while, Leanne didn't say a word, and she didn't look at Katie, closing her eyes instead, until at last, Katie did the last button up and straightened Leanne's skirt. But Katie did not move away. In a way, this was worse for Leanne, by having this tiny distance between them, filled with heat and anger, and something else, something that Leanne did not even want to label in her own head, not when Katie had forbidden her to say it.

In a voice most unlike her own, Katie said, timidly, "L-Leanne?"

"Mmm," Leanne mumbled, not knowing what to say or do. What was she supposed to say? And what if Katie decided she didn't want anything to do with her after what Leanne nearly -

"Look, okay, I just think it's too soon for you to feel the need to put a label on your feelings."

"I don't _need_ to say anything. I wanted to say it," Leanne said, her voice still slightly shaky. "What's wrong? Don't you think I'm being honest?"

"No, it's not that. I know you don't need to - it just - it just seems so... I'm not saying it's not genuine. I'm not. But I think you feel obliged to say it, and I do too, and I would definitely feel pressured to say it if you said it to me, and I'm not ready for that."

"You don't have to say it back. But I just wanted to say it to you."

"It shouldn't be like that, though, Leanne. And we haven't been together long, and I just want to... to take things slow. I don't want to rush anything. We have all the time in the world. I'm not going anywhere. Neither are you. Is that too much to ask? Unless you have plans you didn't tell me about?"

"N-no. I'm not going anywhere."

"I didn't think so. So is - is that all right?" Katie said, and she licked her lips nervously, twisting her hair around her finger as the silence that met her words grew heavier.

"I - yes, that's - if that's what you want, fine; of course it's all right," said Leanne finally, but her eyes returned to her shoes. Then Leanne felt Katie's finger under her chin, gently raising Leanne's face to hers.

"So we're okay?" Katie asked. "We are, aren't we?"

It took Leanne a lot of effort, but she managed a smile, saying (though she wasn't sure if she believed it herself), "Yes, we're - we're okay. Or... we will be." Leanne suddenly didn't want to talk about it anymore, so she tried to kiss her, but after a few moments, Katie pulled away, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear and asking, "You're - you're not angry at me?"

Leanne shook her head. "No, Katie," she said, much more sincerely this time. "I never could be."

"You... you are coming with me to Hogsmeade, aren't you?" Leanne asked as she waited for Katie in the Quidditch changing rooms. The rest of the team, thankfully, had already left, being cold, hungry and wanting dinner.

Leanne wasn't sure if she should be asking, but although she and Katie had been together since September, they had never actually gone _out_, on a proper date.

Katie laughed at her uncertainty. "Of course I am," she said. With a grin, she suggested, "Would you like to go to Madam Puddifoot's?"

"No way!" said Leanne, immediately worried.

"Good. Neither would I." Relieved, Katie kissed her, and then she said, "We don't need to go to some crap café to prove that I... that we're a happy couple."

Leanne gazed at her, marvelling at the conviction in Katie's eyes, and still smarting over Katie's avoidance of that word. She stole another kiss, her hand on the back of Katie's neck. "Who does?"

They looked at each other in silence for a few seconds, and then they simultaneously said, "Cho Chang!"

They burst out laughing together, and it was with the same cheerfulness that they set off to Hogsmeade the next day. Really, Leanne needn't have worried. Admittedly, they only went to Honeydukes and Gladrags Wizardwear before giving up and going to the Three Broomsticks, but they enjoyed themselves immensely nevertheless. Once inside the warm confines of the pub, they ordered drinks and joined a few Gryffindor seventh-years at their table, since there weren't any free ones. Cormac McLaggen started up a rather dull conversation with Katie about Quidditch, and it was clear that he was trying to chat her up, something he had apparently tried to do before.

It was obviously not working, and despite Leanne and Katie's clasped hands across the table, Cormac was not taking the hint. Leanne was too polite to tell him to shut up, and anyway, it was clear that Katie wasn't falling for it as it was. Soon, Katie made an excuse, whispering something in Cormac's ear that made him splutter on his drink, spraying the person opposite him with it. Then Katie got up and headed for the ladies'. She made a face at Leanne from behind Cormac, causing her to stifle a laugh and almost choke on her own Butterbeer.

Leanne wanted to go with her, but someone tapped her shoulder from behind, and she realised that Heere Patel, a Hufflepuff in her Arithmancy class, was trying to talk to her. Flustered, she apologised and greeted her, and they were in the middle of discussing their latest essay when Katie returned.

"Let's get going," she said to Leanne, interrupting her conversation. Leanne could not help but frown at the absence of the smile which had been on Katie's face just a few minutes before.

"Don't you want to finish your drink?" Leanne asked.

"Let's get going," Katie repeated, this time a little tersely. Leanne opened her mouth as if to argue. But, not wanting to ruin what had been a good day, she pushed her Butterbeer bottle away from her, stood up, bade goodbye to everyone and followed Katie.

Leanne reached out for Katie's hand, but she snatched it away. Only then did Leanne realise that, along with her odd behaviour, Katie also had a parcel with her.

"What's that?" Leanne asked sharply as they made their way through the crowded pub.

"Nothing you need to worry about," she replied, holding it closer to her.

"Where did you get it from?"

"None of your business."

"You didn't have a parcel with you before..."

"So what? Stop asking so many questions," Katie snapped.

"But why-" Leanne began, but she got no further.

"It's got nothing to do with you, Leanne**!" Katie shouted as they started walking down the street together. The sleet attacked their faces, but Leanne didn't care: instead, she tried to grab at the package. However, Katie snatched it back, and it tore.

And then, the roar of the wind had seemed insignificant compared to Katie's scream. The rest of it - of Harry Potter and his friends trying to help, of Katie falling with a crash to the icy ground, of Hagrid carrying Katie to the castle, of that kindly sixth-year girl who tried to comfort her - had been a blur for Leanne. It had been a whirlwind, just like the sleet that had flew in circles around Katie's cursed body as she had shaken with ear-splitting screams.

_And hoped that you'd find the missing piece_

_To bring you back to me_

Leanne takes a deep breath; she has been talking for the last hour at least, and she wonders if any of it had sunk in, and - most importantly - if Katie remembers.

"So here you are," says Leanne. "That's wh-why you're here. Do - do you know who I am now?" Leanne asks, and a tear leaks out of her eye and rolls down her cheek. Katie doesn't answer: instead, she instinctively reaches out to wipe the tear away, and her hand stays there, her fingers gently caressing her cheek, bringing Leanne closer to Katie - and then the door opens. The Healer smiles rather smugly at Leanne, as if he knows exactly what he has just interrupted. Leanne instantly shoots up at the sound, before she is instructed to step outside while he examines her.

"Can we have a minute, please?" she asks. He looks like he will refuse, and insist that she leave the room now, but then he complies, waiting outside.

As soon as he is out of the room, Leanne leans forwards, kissing her lips briefly, and she doesn't care that they feel dry and chapped against hers, or that she only responds weakly. Leanne only cares about the fact that Katie is _here_, alive. Then Leanne moves away, her face still hovering over Katie's.

"Do you remember?" Leanne asks, reaching for her hand and squeezing it. Leanne holds Katie's hand against her chest, and her heart beats faster as Katie's eyes remain shut.

"The last thing I remember," Katie murmurs, "is a cocky boy called Cormac McLaggen." A grin crosses Leanne's face, and Katie goes on. "He was trying to tell me how many goals he had saved in his whole lifetime, and I remember I eventually got up and whispered to him that I didn't give a shit about any of that, because I had a gorgeous, amazing girlfriend called Leanne Starr who was the smartest person I've ever known, and the most beautiful too, and the day I would play Quidditch with him is the day I would stop loving her. And that day will never come, because there was something I should have told her, something I was too scared to say, and I hadn't allowed her to say it to me - and now I know: that I love her, so, so much, far more than life itself."

For the first time in months, Leanne is rendered completely and utterly speechless. Katie loves her. She _loves_ her. Leanne watches Katie's eyelids open, and to Leanne's delight, this time, the recognition is there. And this time, the spark flickers, but it does not fail.

I hope you enjoyed that! The original was far crappier than this version, lol. Anyway, the thing about Katie losing her memory was inspired by one of the more recent episodes of the Mentalist, when Jane loses his memory. I, of course, do not own the Mentalist, though I am married to Patrick Jane XD

Thanks again to Sarah for being so, so amazing. This story would be nothing, nothing, I tell you, without her. She saved me when I was panicking and told me which bits I needed to rewrite and generally un-crappified the first draft. And thanks again to Alex, for being just as fab and making me laugh with some of your comments :P

And thank you, Jess, for being a kind SPEW queen and allowing me an extension. But most importantly, thank you Alex for being the lovely, lovely person you are, for all your encouragement with everything and for being such a wonderful friend. And finally, I'd like to thank _you -_if you managed to get through all of that without wanting to bleach your eyeballs, that is, hehe. If your eyesight is still intact, I would love you forever if you reviewed :)


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